Home › Forums › Discussing these understandings with family and friends › When people seem a little uneasy
So every so often when im with my mates, I go deeper and introduce a new key concept of the HC (depending on what i’ve told them in past) or explain some superficial emission of our upset in a way they didnt know was possible in the denial compliant world. I do notice that when I bring it up initially there is this “oh no he’s taking me there again” reaction but they dont say anything, but once something I explain resonates their eyes open up a little and the deaf effect reduces its foothold, even so much as to say “shit, that makes sense”. but naturally, after a few weeks of living in complete resignation, the experience of connecting with the information is all but a foggy memory stored deep in the brain beneath barrels of defences and blocks. I understand how historically terrifying the human condition has been to humanity and that patience and respecting ones journey is essential in nurturing others out of complete denial of the issue and in support of the now explained and reconciled understanding.
I’m interested to hear if anyone has found strategies that perhaps alleviate some of the uneasiness people initially feel when revisiting the information? or ways of bringing it up without making the other person cringe?
Chris. In my view the best way for you to reassure people is to securely let the information work through you like you are doing a great job of. The information gives you the inside knowledge to explain all sorts of seemingly totally confusing and insoluble situations. The information gives you empathy, compassion and allows you to put your cards on the table in way that you could not do without it. Seeing the positive changes and outcomes at work in you is the most effective and impacting reassurance. Talking sincerely about how it has helped you and how much you know you have benefited in all or different parts of your life speaks volumes. It won’t come across as self-righteous or preaching. I think about trying to be a living example of the information if that makes sense.
This said I had a few thoughts based on my experiences that may or may not apply to you.
1.Empathise and describe your own experience of the ‘cringe’ reaction to the subject of the human condition. Perhaps you can suggest to the person that their sense of fear is actually a recognition of the proposition that we human’s do live in fear of the subject matter of the human condition (our upset). That is, can they at least countenance that that reaction is actually evidence of a key proposition of the WTM information. Perhaps if the person’s body language and demeanour has clearly changed, depending on your relationship with them, you might be able identify that and say something like “It’s clear from your body language, the tone of voice etc that this is touching a nerve and I relate to that.’ Then say something like “can I suggest that you are only hearing half the story. I think you are taking what I am saying as criticism. The bottomline, take home message of this information is that we are upset but we are good and in fact heroic. You are only hearing that we are upset and stopping there and not hearing the rest. I find myself doing that and I have to remind myself of the full message.”
2.Perhaps try and anchor the conversation back to a comment or conversation where they were accessing the compassionate full picture or perhaps the power of the information to explain something. Try and reconnect them with that sense of accountability, relief, joy, compassion, optimism etc. You are connecting them with the fact that they have had a very different and positive response to the subject matter previously. This reminds them that there is a different way of responding to the information. You might say something like “you remember when we were talking about the egocentricity of men and you saw how the information totally turns the table and we can now explain why they (we) have been egocentric rather than heaping on more criticism. You were so relieved and excited to see that Fred was just upset Adam Stork..”
3.It is obviously good to talk in social settings but its not necessarily conducive to effective communication. You might find it worthwhile meeting up specifically to discuss the information. That might be at a pub, the park or wherever works. You can say something like “look Baz we start talking about this after too many beers and we only dip in to. What about we get together for coffee and you give me an hour to explain the basic idea. You can then ask me questions and we can have a constructive dialogue. What do you reckon?” It’s a pretty fair and sensible suggestion. Importantly, this allows you to get the bottom layer of the cake in place – the Adam Stork story etc. With this ground work laid it helps a lot have a constructive and meaningful discussion about specific topics. Those specific topics (sex, drugs, rockn’roll, religion) can then be used to flesh out and demonstrate the explanatory power of the idea. This should get the person stronger in the take home message of the information and that we now don’t need to fear the subject of the human condition.
4.You might find that the person accessing and getting exposure to the information directly rather than through you might help (assuming they are inclined) at least some of the time. The person can watch an introductory video or an affirmation and they can be an anonymous fly on the wall. It is just them and the information. They don’t have the distraction of feeling vulnerable or insecure with you. When some aspect of the WTM moves them independent of your voice it should really help them be more receptive to what you do say. Hope that makes sense.
Hope something in this helps. Love your proactive approach.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by Liam.
Hi Chris, I think you’ve raised an important point about how uneasy people can be when the topic of the HC comes up in conversation. As you’ve said even broad concepts about what the HC is can be so off limits for people – it can feel almost comical that we can’t even acknowledge the elephant in the room!
For me if a conversation related to the HC does come up with someone else I’ve learnt to be as honest as I can about my own journey and if I don’t feel the other person is responsive or as you said the ‘deaf effect doesn’t reduce its foothold’ I sometimes just talk about human behaviour or psychology in a general sense. I think Liam has good ideas if you are wanting conversations specially about the HC with people without it being too confronting for them. I liked your take on nurturing others out of complete denial, it’s an exciting time to be taking the blindfolds off and rose coloured glasses on!
i had an interesting experience talking with a mate of mine about this and I agree with Wendy and all the other posts above. i found it best initially to keep thing nice and macro i.e. everybody knows that the world situation is not great, everyone can see that the rich are getting richer and the poorer are getting poorer, that the environment is still getting destroyed, that people are more uptight, that depression and psychological problems are more common etc etc etc The question that this information addresses is WHY are all these things happening??? I often find that people can easily follow the logic to get to that point but it certainly can get tricky if the conversations starts drifting into people’s micro situations. That’s why i like what Wendy said about using your own experience with this understanding to show people how it works and how it can help. Talking personally about your journey will help them relax about what’s “up ahead” for them and it should alleviate some of their unease – i.e. they are watching you safely and calmly talk about things which people are normally fearful to talk about! Because the bottom line is that this complete explanation of the human condition is the greatest tool for alleviating any unease or insecurity or uncertainty that people may be carrying around (unnecessarily)!
Appreciate the yak on this. I find the wtm stuff makes so much sense to me and easy to read but yeah people around me get real touchy, its like jeremy says everyone’s so bloody scared of the hc, can see it in their whole face.
If anyone is genuinely interested I find watching the intro videos on the WTM’s homepage with them is helpful, the more you listen and read the more your mind is reassured that there we can ‘confront’ the HC now, rather than be terrified of it, and those intro videos seem designed to help that process. Just my observations.